They Diminishing

  • They wanted to keep me small, confined, and defined 
  • so that they would be satiated and satisfied 

 

  • They wanted me all for themselves and their vainglory 
  • so that they would have me listen to all their same stories

 

  • They did their best to control, contain, and oppress me
  • so that they could easily depress, suppress, and possess me

 

  • Fear was their currency 
  • and they used it oh so fervently 

 

  • Shame was their tender
  • and they used it like a monopoly vendor 

 

  • Guilt was their circulation 
  • and they used it to the point of adoration

 

  • Then and them, I listened and I obeyed
  • for I feared being left out a stray

 

  • Then and them, I worshipped and I revered
  • for I feared being labeled weird 

 

  • Then and them, I idolized and I venerated 
  • for I feared being verbally flagellated 

 

  • The prison of the mind is a most terrifying place 
  • only those who choose escape will Grace embrace

 

  • Little by little, my Spirit began awakening 
  • Little by little, my life began liberating 

 

  • I tried until I tired to help them understand 
  • in seeing the beauty of the Spiritual Land

 

  • I truly did my very best
  • I wanted them being just as blessed

 

  • The Life Giving Waters, I shared as best I could
  • but all that happened was my being ridiculed 

 

  • Upon my shoulders, their Souls I did take 
  • until someone said, “There’s a Savior for that, no-one will He forsake”

 

  • Everyone can download Him for free
  • The greatest of life’s treasures will He be for thee

 

  • Everyone has the option to befriend Him 
  • and be His very next of kin

 

  • And with that Truth, little by little, I let them go
  • for my life now lay, in the Flow 

 

  • And now, to they and them, I bid you adieu, 
  • that is, wholly to God, I commend you

Irena As I Am                                                                                                      06.18.2018

My Life Here

  • My life is here and not there
  • My life is finally for me to dare

 

  • If i were there
  • My Soul would wither in despair

 

  • If i were there
  • My Heart would atrophy from lack of air

 

  • If i were there
  • My Mind would suffocate from conversational bare

 

  • If i were there
  • My Spirit would tear beyond repair

 

  • There, i would be a fake
  • My Being living in constant authenticity ache 

 

  • I had been born to listen, obey, and please
  • By the Grace of God, I fulfilled all of my Soul duties 

 

  • I’ve paid my dues and put in my time
  • So that now I get to discover my Shine

 

  • By the Grace of God, I now have the liberty to do as I like 
  • I am learning what it means to have my own psych

 

  • As long as I am here
  • My Soul has my ear

 

  • As long as I am here
  • My Heart is very near

 

  • As long as I am here
  • My Mind has many tiers

 

  • As long as I am here
  • My Spirit is my sightseer

 

  • Here I am discovering me, As I Am
  • My Being is as happy as a pearl in a clam

 

  • Ahhh, Dear God, you have a moment, just one small itsy bitsy existential question…
  • What, oh what, path shall i take so that i do not make a missed take!?!
  • Oh Darlin’! Worry not, and lighten up those deep blue eyes,
  • The future is not for you to surmise 
  • Just take your foot off of the brake 
  • And as your Soul sails, follow Its joyful wake
  • All you need do is “worship the Living God”
  • And you will always be led with a Lovely Light rod

 

  • From the depths of my Soul,
  • “Eli! Eli! Why have You” loved me so deeply 
  • So as to liberate me completely
  • How can I ever repay You
  • For giving me my Soul, back to me.

It’s all Grace. It’s all a Gift, SweetHeart. You chose to accept it. You choose to do The Work. Worthy you are. It is there for All, should they so choose for themselves.

  • Irena As I Am                                                                                                                   06.13.2018

Post Mortem

  • I didn’t know if I was going to live or die
  • But if I had my preference, I would rather eternally lie

 

  • Those who were dearly departed, I envied
  • I may have been above ground, yet it felt like I was deeply buried

 

  • Life had sucked the blood out of me
  • All that remained was a hollow shell of a once thriving tree

 

  • I put all my affairs in perfect order
  • And then I waited for the executioner’s tightening quarter

 

  • I lived holding my breath
  • I went from day to day hoping for death

 

  • Some are afraid to die
  • But for me, life I could not ratify

 

  • Some pray for the dead,
  • But for me, living was the larger dread

 

  • To my surprise and disappointment too
  • Death did not come knocking on my door so soon

 

  • Since I did not make death’s short list
  • I guess life is still in my midst

 

  • But in looking up from my open grave
  • How do I live this life outside the cave

 

  • What is there for me to do and to be
  • Once one rises from a death on a tree

 

  • Love whispered softly into my Heart and Soul, 
  • “This SweetHeart you will discover as you Flow

 

  • Beautiful it will be
  • As long as you stay oh so close to Me

 

  • Whether you realize it or not, My Darling
  • The past eleven years you have been heeding My Voice like a starling”  IC•XC

Irena As I Am                                                                                                      06/11/2018

Beautiful Eyes

  • You touched my arm and said, “You have beautiful eyes.”
  • And from that moment on, at the sight of you, my Heart is energized

 

  • The boldness of your comment took me completely by surprise
  • Towards others you have left me immunized 

 

  • I now see you from time to time 
  • And in those briefest of moments, I feel you are all mine

 

  • I do listen intently to what you have to say
  • Because your words help me find my way

 

  • On the Spirit’s promptings, I share with you my sorrows, victories, and the shadow side of me
  • Your generous Heart and patient ear have been significant to my liberty 

 

  • But alas, into your little box, I can never fit
  • For it is the Flow of my Spirit that I must permit 

 

  • Likewise, you yourself have very definite plans 
  • And to these you have dedicated your hands 

 

  • We journey on parallel tracks 
  • Never destined to interact 

 

  • This is best i truly know 
  • For love comes wrapped in a variety of bows 

 

  • Love brings lovers in many shapes and forms 
  • It is not for us to question, but only to conform 

 

  • The feeling of love is a rich inner treasure
  • It truly is a Divine gesture

 

  • All you need do is close your eyes, open your Heart
  • There i will be, along side you, never apart

irena as i am                                                                                                       06/09/2018

Soul Deep

  • Into the depths of my Soul I must go
  • Because life in the shallows is too much of a broadway show

 

  • In my Soul is where my treasure lies
  • And all the answers to life’s perplexing ties

 

  • The journey into the deep is not for the faint hearted 
  • As it will reveal all your ego’s perverted targets 

 

  • Then you must choose from all your idols 
  • Which ones to keep and which to bridle 

 

  • No one is so pure as to have no earthly clings
  • For it is in rings and things that make us queens and kings

 

  • But the deeper into my Soul I explore 
  • I discover that too many a trappings do not let my Spirit soar

 

  • The world tells me to spend spend spend, buy this and have that
  • For it is only then that I will be an aristocrat

 

  • But the more I buy the more weighted down I feel
  • For it is in Asceticism and Simplicity that my Soul is revealed 

 

  • Then one comes to that dreadful or liberating place
  • Where one has to choose what will be in the foremost space

 

  • It is at this juncture and on these scales 
  • That one discovers if one’s Soul is truly for sale 

 

  • Will it be the noise of the trophies, the glitter of the golden calves, and the much polished toys 
  • Or, 
  • Will it be the quiet whisperings of one’s Soul’s simple joys 

 

  • Judge not harshly, neither way is right or wrong 
  • For it is in the expense, expenditure, and experience of both that one discover’s their Soul’s song

 

  • “But as for me and my house”, this I know
  • The Flow of my Soul is what makes me aglow

irena as i am and Mudryk The Great

i cry

  • Sometimes i cry cry cry
  • And i don’t even know why

 

  • i let the tears flow flow flow
  • Even if it means, my vulnerability being on show

 

  • “Don’t cry.”, sometimes others will say
  • As they try to make the tears go away

 

  • “But why, oh why, should i not cry?”, i retort
  • For in the game of life, sometimes i, others, and things fall short

 

  • The pain can be so deep and searing
  • It’s like a jagged dagger twirling through the flesh of one’s being 

 

  • Somehow the tears are a balm
  • Wondrously their flow restores inner calm

 

  • The tears a Gift from one’s Soul
  • For they bring light to what was once a deep dark hole

 

  • But I must say, not all the tears are mine
  • Sometimes I cry for those who tow the hard line

 

  • There are those who their tears they do not show
  • For they keep them buried deep in frozen snow

 

  • There are those who think they must must must 
  • Be strong unto themselves and others not trust 

 

  • There are those who keep the tears all to their inner selves
  • They keep them bottled up in dark cellar shelves 

 

  • They become masters at holding back
  • Until I come around and pick up their emotional slack

 

  • Their thoughts I know and their feelings I feel
  • For the Spirit of All can penetrate even think steel

 

  • What they will not allow
  • My Heart and Body become their emotional cat’s meow

 

  • I cry their uncried tears 
  • Bringing a ray of light to their hidden fears

 

  • i am an empath, you see
  • my sensitivity, a Gift of Service to thee

irena as i am                                                                                                           06/04/2018

An Ode to My Beloved

  • You came into my life when I was lost and confused,
  • Everything in my mind I knew be true my Soul spoke up and refused.

 

  • All my relationships and associations had been defused,
  • And the future of my existence rested on my self-imposed solitude.

 

  • Your Spirit I heard from afar call out to my Heart,
  • And it was only a matter of time before you and I became one part.

 

  • You whispered your name into my Soul, 
  • And your presence helped me become whole.

 

  • Your sweet and innocent disposition were a balm to my oozing wounds,
  • Your soft touch and tender way kept me from being doomed.

 

  • You became my closest, nearest, and dearest companion,
  • You took the care of my Heart and Soul into your battalion.

 

  • You brought me unexpected gifts and joy beyond imagine,
  • Your presence ended my starved Heart’s famine.

 

  • Your well being is of the utmost importance to me,
  • With you at my side i now know what is we.

 

  • You are playful and at times sneaky too,
  • As we go on adventures learning to live anew.

 

  • You have saved me from becoming completely narcissistic,
  • As I cater to your whims and shower you with delicious kisses.

 

  • For you i am eternally grateful,
  • For i now know what it is being faithful.

 

  • Thank you Thank you Thank you with all of my Heart,
  • You have been one of my greatest blessings in my life’s arc.

irena as i am and Mudryk The Great                                                                      05/30/2018

Shadow Mountain

  • Step by Step into the unknown i go
  • Step by Step my trust in God i must show.

 

  • “Where! Oh, Where!”, my mind demands to know 
  • “Trust Me, My beloved.”, Love whispered gently as He kissed my furrowed brow.

 

  • And Love continued with Their soothing woo of me,
  • “It matters not that your pace is slow
  • Let My Love upon your path cast a glow.

 

  • The answers you seek are not in a crystal bowl grotto
  • But rather, hidden deep deep within your Heart’s many chateaus.

 

  • Surely by now with all the twists and turns of your life’s Flow
  • I have proved MySelf long, long, time ago.

 

  • I AM always with you on earth down below 
  • Just open your eyes and Heart to all that I have bestowed.

 

  • It’s all just a mirage, and it was all designed 
  • for the growing of your faith into the Divine Mind.

 

  • The key is where you place your attention and intention, this you know.
  • Thus focus on Love, Joy, Humility, and Gratitude always, in all ways,
  • and you will be well within My row.

 

  • Come, SweetHeart. Come, My dearest.
  • Do you not know that with your faith and My Strength,
  • This mountain you think you see is a mere shadow.”

Love,  Love

irena as i am                                                                                                          05/28/2018

By the Grace of God

  • By the Grace of God i come
  • By the Grace of God i go
  • By the Grace of God my Heart beats 
  • without my know

 

  • By the Grace of God i laugh
  • By the Grace of God i cry
  • By the Grace of God my Soul flows
  • disregarding my shy

 

  • By the Grace of God i sleep
  • By the Grace of God i work
  • By the Grace of God my time flies
  • blessing me with Divine perks

 

  • By the Grace of God i dance
  • By the Grace of God i romance 
  • By the Grace of God my mind smirks
  • inducing me into a Divine trance

 

  • By the Grace of God i pray 
  • By the Grace of God i chant
  • By the Grace of God my Spirit knows advance
  • giving me the Divine as my confidante 

 

  • By the Grace of God i play my part
  • in this the Master’s Peace of Heart

irena as i am                                                                                                          05/27/2018

 

Fears on The Way

  • The fears i feared
  • come to pass they did not.

 

  • The fears i feared
  • kept me from taking a shot. (well, not always, only sometimes)

 

  • The fears i feared
  • bound me in a knot.

 

  • The fears i feared
  • confined my life to a dot.

 

  • The fears i feared
  • created much unnecessary distraught.

 

  • The fears i feared
  • held me as the victim in my life’s plot.

 

  • The fears i feared
  • ruled me by religious and societal oughts and naughts.

 

  • The fears i feared
  • anchored and grounded my life’s yacht.

 

  • The fears i feared
  • in truth did not come as i thought.

 

  • The fears i feared
  • through them many lessons was i taught.

 

  • The fears i feared
  • revealed to me who was not sir lancelot.

 

  • The fears i feared
  • some of them served me to untie the love not.

 

  • To be fair,
  • The fears i feared,
  • i must admit, that some had kept me very safe.

 

  • Yes, there were the phantom fears which did not come to pass. 
  • But instead,

 

  • Unexpected bumps, blocks, and boulders 
  • had shown up on my way.

 

  • Unusual people and circumstances and wild goose chases 
  • had kept me oh so busy and at bay.

 

  • My limited vision, overactive mind, and others’ expectations 
  • had way too much sway.

 

  • My dreams, my plans, my hopes, my desires, and my rising
  • knew only delay upon delay.
  • (Although i now see they too were Divinely Ordained.)
  • I burnt bridges, tore down walls, and cut all chords
  • leaving me totally unencumbered, and a stray.

 

  • My deepest and fondest alliances and allegiances 
  • had lay in utter decay, with many hearts bleeding from betray.

 

  • Nothing was certain, nothing was solid
  • everything was fluid, slipping, and passing away.

 

  • All of life had come to a halt 
  • so that my eyes could, and finally would, see, the new path way.

 

  • My dearest friends and sojourners, 
  • I can now say,
  • Do not despair at what you can not see
  • For God’s reel is the real screen play.

irena as i am                                                                                                       05/21/2008