Just Admit It and Feel It

I am the queen of positivity, optimism, hope, and rainbows. It could be the storm of the decade outside, but on the inside i choose to look for and focus on the blessings, the gifts, the joys, and the lesson. Deep down on the inside, I know the storm is only temporary and it WILL pass.

I don’t know if I was born this way, learned this way, or by virtue of necessity adopted this way. Maybe it is a combination of all three, and whole lotta Grace. But I do know that it has served me well in life. It has helped me get through some very dark days, months, and even years with minimum emotional collateral damage. When a curve ball has come my way in life and knocked me to my knees or put my face in the mud, over the years I have developed a tried and true program for catching my breath, getting backup, and living again.

ADMITTANCE                                                                                                               The initial response may be to “fight it”, resist it, deny it, run from it, numb oneself, or self-medicate. These coping tools work, but they are only temporary feel good band aid solutions. They do not actually address nor get to the root of the problem. It is like pulling the weed leaves while leaving the root in tact. It is a feeble cover it up. Pretend there is a tiger in the room and you throw a blanket over her, she is still there whether you see her or not. No matter how masterful you become at distracting yourself from her presence, you still always KNOW that she is near and ready to pounce. Your Heart can not rest in peace.

This denial phase can be anywhere from days to months to years. I’ve realized it takes more work, more energy, more stress, more drama, more of one’s life force in the long run to deny what is, than to actually face it, label it, feel it, and then work or Flow through it. You are stronger and braver than you think you are. You CAN handle feeling the feelings. The denial of them actually piles on more pain, more messiness, and the prolonging of the issue. The feeling of feelings actually makes you stronger and braver. It also builds your awareness and self-respect muscles. The admittance of the situation and one’s true feelings, I KNOW are half of the healing and wholeness journey. 

FEEL THE SHOCK, THE FEELINGS, and THE REALITY OF THE SITUATION       How does one actually feel when they have been suppressing and denying their feeling from arising? The first step it to STOP. Stop ignoring them. Stop running from them. Stop distracting yourself from them. Just stand still, be still, lay still. They are actually a Gift. By opening this Gift up and taking it out of the box (your being, Spirit, Heart) and working or playing with them, you will actually transmute them into something beautiful. By being still, feeling them, and letting them Flow, they don’t build up on the inside and boil over on the outside. Feeling them is the pressure relief and release valve. It is your saving Grace. Once they are released, you are less at their mercy and their charge. You then can focus your energy on the solution.

DIAGNOSIS                                                                                                                   The best way that I know how to address a situation is to name it, label it, or give it a diagnosis. When we have an accurate understanding and no longer dealing with vagueness, we then can proceed with clarity and confidence. We know which mental and emotional work or therapy to seek out. At this point, the remedies seem to come out of the Universe’s woodwork and present themselves on our path. 

HEALING and PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY                                                               In this stage of healing, Grace and Humility are essential. We need to try different approaches and need to be open to approaching things differently. That is why prayer, mediation, journaling, and a trusted and wise advisor are some of the best Gifts we can receive. By turning to God, our healing can be gentler, more graceful, and in a timely manner.

It is vital that one also take personal responsibility in the situation.  During the healing phase there will be many temptations or little quizzes that test or resolve and commitment to living a more aware and whole life. It can be easy to revert into old patters of thinking or habit. You thought you needed Grace in the healing phase, you need it even more in the new path so that you stay on the whole and holy path.  And if you do stumble and revert to your old ways, be gentle with yourself. Get up, or if need be, crawl forward until you get the strength to stand up and run again.

With God, anything is possible and any journey completable. Just do you best and keep turning to God for strength and guidance.

Abundant Blessings,
Irena As I Am                                                                                                      04/07/2018

Not Too Thrilled About It

Confession that is. Or, as it is now called, reconciliation. But I still go anyway because my Soul yearns for it, needs it, and nudges me toward it. Sometimes the nudges are gentle, and sometimes they are persistent, imploring, and demanding. Either way, the Whisperings of the Holy Spirit in my Heart can be like a bear for me to go and bare my soul to a man whose vocation is the priesthood. And when I do go, afterwards, a deep inner and profound peace both descends upon me and rises up from within me.

Yes, I know that technically I don’t need an “intermediary” between me and God. I know I can speak with God on my own and present to God how I could have done better or how I have “missed the mark” (sin definition). I know I can whisper it to God in a quiet moment when I am reflecting upon my day. I know I can speak it out loud while praying privately, driving, walking, or stretching my body. I know I can even yell it out loud, and I have, if it is a particularly disturbing feeling. I know I can cry it out of me when I am feeling profoundly moved by my shortcomings. I know I can journal it out of me and lay it down on paper which came from a  tree. I know I can then light a candle and burn away my indiscretions and turn them into a burnt offering.

I have done all these things, and more.                                                                           But it is not the same as an in person confession with a priest.

The entrance to that Sacred Space and Place where one bares their soul and relieves their conscience: a confessional.

These days, where things are more in the open, one has the option of a face to face confession (door with a window), or if one prefers there is the private confession where one is in a separate room with a privacy screen between the priest/confessor and the confessed. It is all a matter of personal preference and the promptings of the Holy Spirit in one’s Heart.

I have also worked with a variety of healers and healing modalities – reiki, hypnotherapy, reflexology, polarity/cranial, EFT/tapping, acupuncture, kundalini yoga, numerology, intuitive healers, books/CDs, angel cards, shamans – where we have worked on and through my blocks and misconceptions. I am eternally grateful to and for all the healers that have helped me identify, move through, process and heal my lower karma. The transformations have been miraculous and eternally altering. The healers have been Heaven sent. Without them i never would have made the progress i did. But it never felt quite complete. It always felt like there was one more piece, one more element missing in the completion and closure in the healing journey of a certain issue. I always felt like I had to bring it to Jesus through one of His anointed, appointed, and ordained representatives, a Priest at confession. When I do and after I do, it is like I am “washed clean”. My being, my Heart, my spirit, my whole essence feel lighter. It literally and figuratively feels like tones of weight are lifted off of my shoulders. I walk with less heavy weight on me and in me.

It is an unloading in a Holy Space and Place. Time is non-present and eternal in a confession/reconciliation. All of time is there and none of time is there. The ground, the earth, the building where the “Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.” Psalm 51:7, take place is blessed and holy with the tabernacle holding the Holy of Holies near by, The Eucharist. Yes, I know all of earth is blessed and holy for it is God’s Creation, but just like Sedona, AZ has its vortices of intensified energy, certain sites are appointed as extra special or holy because of their intended purpose. “For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.” Matthew 18:20. Thus too when people, priests, bishops gather, bless and proclaim a certain piece of land or building as a place of worship it holds that energy of its blessings, intentions, and the sum of all the worship energy that has taken place there. By taking the time, energy, and effort in our lives to go present ourselves before a priest in a tabernacle designated for the offering of our guilt, shame, fear, shortcomings, anger, frustration, helplessness, hopelessness, sorrows, pain, unworthiness, struggles… one is partaking in a sacred act of humility before God. One lays their ego down before God. One acknowledges their human frailty before God. One asks for the Grace to continue on with even deeper Grace, Wisdom, wholeness, and holiness.

Just like doing yoga at home is not the same as practicing yoga in a class with a guide/teacher/instructor, so too is a “home made” confession/reconciliation not quite the same as one in a church/office with a priest. Just like watching a ballet performance or sporting event at home on tv, or listening to a symphony on the radio, is not the same as being at the event in person, so too with the bearing of one’s burdens before the Lord is a much more profound and healing experience when done in person before a priest. Just like Jesus’ lineage is traced back to King David, the lineage of the priesthood is a vocation that through apostolic succession flows back to and from Christ, Jesus. Just like Jesus worked with the humanness of his apostles and disciples (male and female), so too does He work with and through the humanness of His current day priests and priestesses (Anglican Church). The words spoken in the Holy Space and Place of a confessional or reconciliation room, I have found for me have been mirrors, guide posts, soothing and calming, sometimes provoking (opened up another area for healing), and always liberating. It is one of God’s wonderful Gifts which bring us closer to God, in greater alignment to God, and deeper holiness and wholeness with God.

There have been periods in my life where I have gone once a week to confession and sometimes even more – after a Daily Mass, private office confessions, and once even on a bench under a tree. Had it not been for these confessions, I would still be stuck in some metal mental state of confinement. With each confession, a bar or two or more would melt away in my mind and opened me up to a life yoke of greater Light and Love.

A times I have seen these encounters as confessions and other times as reconciliations. In the confession paradigm is when I know I have fallen short and transgressed against, God, myself, and my neighbor –  all one and the same as we are all one of the same Source.  Confession is when I feel have done something offensive –  a sin of commission. I have been at the mercy of my ego, my lower self. On the other hand, I feel that I am in reconciliation  when I know that there is a different way of being and of living, but it is still vague and in vapor form for me. It is when God is asking another version of me to rise up but I am either afraid or unaware of the Divine Truth and thus am fumbling around in the darkness, or stalling.  This is omission and I am asking for Grace to help me reconcile myself to God’s version of me. Just like we reconcile our checking accounts to that of the bank, so too I feel I am reconciling myself to God’s best account of me.

These days one has two ways that one can partake in the Holy Sacrament of Confession / Reconciliation. There is the traditional confessional booth where the confessor, priest / priestess is in one room and the confessed, me or you in another room with a privacy screen in-between the two.  Or, there is the new way in which the confessor and confessee sit in the same room facing each other. The latter takes a whole lotta more gumption, or Grace. I’ve done both versions, including office and impromptu out door confessions. The Holy Spirit will let you know which is best for you in each circumstance. I have spoken my confessions from my Mind and Heart as in the Flow of the moment. I have also spent much time reflecting upon what I would like to bring to Jesus and thus have written out my confession and then read it to the confessor. Again, the Holy Spirit directs each encounter and healing session.

If you have not been to confession at all, why not try it this lent, before Resurrection Celebration (Easter) and see what it does to your Heart, Mind, Spirit, and body. A lighter conscience will lighten the body and help you move forward in life. If it has been some time since you have  been to confession, perhaps this article is your sign and “nudge” that it is time. It is a very humbling act. It is also very rewarding and liberating.  It will help you breathe easier and be more relaxed.

Abundant Grace , Wisdom, Humility, and Peace,                                                          Irena As I Am                                                                                                      03/05/2018

Fulfillment Time

Beloved, do not let this one thing escape your notice:                                                   With the Lord a day is like a thousand years,                                                                  and a thousand years are like a day.                                                                                   2 Peter 3:8

Have you ever received a Divine vision, a Divine promise and be thoroughly excited about it? You begin doing the work toward making that Divinely inspired vision an earthly reality. You are faithful to the doing the work for a few weeks or months or even years, but nothing happens or the outer reality does not align with the inner knowing and you lose faith, hope, and the steam to keep going. You begin to wonder if what has been your motivating factor was really a Divine inspiration or a wacky tangent you’ve been on for days/weeks/months/years. You begin to doubt yourself and your path. You begin to question your choices. You being to reassess your direction. You wonder if your wandering was just one big waste of time.

Can I get a witness? Yes. me. I’ll witness.

If there is one thing that I have learned in the past fifteen or twenty years since I’ve began my journey of awareness and trying to live in Divine Alignment is that God’s time frame is very different from my human time frame. What I think should take three to six months, God may think that five years is the just the right amount of time to bring something into fruition. I may think I am ready for a new season in my life and look up to the Heavens and say “bring it on God”, “I’ve got my ducks in a row”, “I. AM. READY.”. But sometimes it seems like God is dilly dallying or off on vacation. Sometimes it seems like God may have changed His mind about our initial conversation and agreement. After all, Amazon or FedEx sometimes seem to do a better job of “delivering on time” than God does. Isn’t God the ultimate fulfillment center of them all? Doesn’t He have a magic wand that can make things appear and disappear? Doesn’t God have a multitude of Angels at His beck and call eagerly awaiting to get the nod from Him to come down here to earth and move obstacles out of the way for us, instantaneously?

So then why doesn’t He? Why does He make us wait? Why does He seem to change the longing in our Hearts and have us take a different direction?

There is an adage about how God answers prayers: God answers prayers in three ways. Yes. Not yet. I have a better plan for you.

Like everyone else, I’ve experienced both answered prayers and unanswered prayers. When I get a “yes”, when a prayer is answered I am elated, grateful, humbled, and feeling set apart and pretty good about myself, life, and God. It gives me fuel for the journey. It is an affirmation from God that I am on the “right path”. It emboldens me to keep going and keep trusting the whisperings of the Holy Spirit within my Heart. It helps me see and know just how powerful and amazing God is. It humbles me. Lastly, an answered prayer deepens my gratitude toward God and then it presents the question of how do I express my gratitude and be generous with my many blessings. Very often, God soon presents someone or a situation where the blessing that I just received could be put to service. It is in these moments that I pray for the eyes that see, ears that hear, and a willing, humble, and generous Heart to do what is asked of me. In times when I have been open and sharing, the blessings are multiplied for all. In times when I have been greedy and hoarding my blessings, I have withheld, from others, God, and myself. In contracting my Heart or generosity, the world around me contracted as well. Thus, in receiving we have a Divine responsibility in giving and sharing. In receiving, we are the channel for delivering Divine abundance to others. In receiving we complete the cycle by giving, as Divinely inspired to do so, and not as driven by our ego or external pressures.

However, when a long-standing prayer is unanswered I can get deflated, frustrated, humbled, dejected, feeling set aside, forgotten, and my faith, hope, and trust in God may even begin to wane.  I also begin to doubt myself and my abilities. I begin to wonder if I am wandering aimlessly and if I discerned Divine Directives correctly. When I doubt or the path seems foggy, it seems like on the highway of life I get off at every exit and rest stop to check, double check, and sometimes even do a U turn and head back in the direction I came from. I am testing the path, feeling the path while doubting the path. Are the signs telling me to keep going forward or to go back or go sideways? Does it feel better this way or that way? Does it make more sense to make a change or stay put? These thoughts, feelings, and the array of actions can lead to confusion or even greater fogginess. They can stir up the dust around us even more thus taking it even longer for us to see The Way. In times like these it is VITAL that we stop and listen, that we pray, meditate, journal, or change our routine or scenery. Sometimes, the answer presents itself when we stop being frantic in looking for it. This is when God says “not yet”.

In the “not yet” answer, patience is our saving grace. In the “not yet” answer, we are asked to just relax into the journey and InJoy the journey: InJoy the waiting and the anticipation. It is like when a baby is conceived, it is not born immediately or the next day. The conception of the baby is the promise of a new child, but the birth and reality of a baby is a “not yet”. It takes nine months of gestation. It takes time for the baby to fully develop so that they will be fully equipped for their earthly journey. It also takes time for the parents, family, and friends to fully absorb and also grow into the idea of a newborn baby entering and becoming a part of their lives. It takes time for the parents to prepare, not just with setting up the nursery,  buying clothes, toys and developmental items, but also thinking about how they will raise their chid.  While the baby is growing physically in the womb, the parents are growing mentally, emotionally, and relationally into this new role, responsibility, and joy that Love has brought them. They too are in their own gestation period of the parenthood journey. Sometimes, an answered prayer is like this. The seed of the promise has been planted into our Hearts, but we are not yet ready or mature enough into receiving it immediately. In our wait time, in our gestation period, we need to be wise and do our due diligence in preparing for the upcoming blessing. When the blessing does arrive, we have matured and can handle the answered prayer. And, just like a newborn, an answered prayer is a blessing and a responsibility.

The hardest of them all is the “I have a better plan for you” response to a prayer. In this scenario there will most likely be much pruning, especially if we have an attitude of

‘this is what i want and only what i want and nothing else will do’. 

Oh my!

This is a sure mentality for setting oneself up for  a lot of frustration, heartache, wallowing, self-pity, and even anger toward God. There was a point in my life where “i wanted a baby”. It was the next logical step in my and our journey. It made sense. It was the normal course of married life. Others expected it and hinted at it by quoting  Genesis 9:7 of “go forth and multiply”. I, we, did everything “right”. Years passed and nothing happened. This “wanting” of mine always hovered around me and my life like a dark cloud. The onset of each menstrual cycle was like getting onto a roller coaster ride of hope and anticipation. It was also a downward spiral of despair and desperation since it meant no conception this month. Medically, we were both fine. A few years into this journey, I even had a laparoscopy procedure through my belly so that the obgyn could get a better look at my uterus. I kept the op report for many years. It said that my uterus was “pristine” and “should” conceive. The doctor and others  said you just need to “keep trying” at the “right time”.

By this time the “keep trying” had become a chore, a task, a duty, an obligation. Upon hearing the results of the laparoscopy my Heart both rose in elation and sunk in despair and questioning. I was relieved that all was well on the inside, and simultaneously, I was devastated because some part me understood that it was not meant to be. It was a deep knowing that we were not meant to conceive and bring a child into this world. Even though I “knew” this deep down inside, in my stubborn taurus nature I still forged ahead with the “keep trying” attitude. I ignored and shut down what I did not want to face. I had my own agenda.

In my stubbornness of “wanting what i want”, I brought the misery onto myself.  I thought God had completely abandoned me. I took consolance in reading about Sarah (and Abraham) or about Rachael (and Jacob) in the Hebrew texts. I put on a brave face when people asked if we had any children or when we were planning having children. Then there was the “you are not getting any younger you know” comment that was like a spear into the Heart. I bargained with God. I also pointed out to Him how women on the streets and addicts were giving birth and here i was a “good clean person”, a regular church goer too with a “husband and a home”, and God wasn’t delivering to me. How dare He not!?! How dare He “curse” me so!?!  Why?Why.Why?Why God are You being so cruel and mean to me!

Oh my! Oh my! Has anyone else out there tried to use emotional manipulation, emotional hostage taking, guilt tripping, or bully tactics to get God to answer a prayer?

There were one or two lone voices who said that “maybe God has a different plan for you”. To these comments, I would figuratively close my Heart and ears to and sing “la-la-la-la-la” so as to drown them out. It was easier for me to continue with my agenda rather than stop, ask and listen to what God was saying. Now, many years later, what I thought was my greatest “god-curse”, I now see as one of my greatest Divine Blessings. I now see that I wasted a whole lotta energy being self-absorbed rather than doing the work of listening and changing.

Thus this is why I now pray for Divine Humility. With this Grace, I ask that I “get on board” with God’s plan sooner rather than later. I also ask for the Divine Wisdom where instead of asking “why”, the better question is “what”. What do I need to see? What changes do I need to make? What is the Divine Way? What notion or emotion do I need to let go of? And do this journey of metanoia peacefully, gracefully, gently, graciously, gratefully, humbly, calmly, patiently, lovingly, and in a timely manner. Amen.

Things take time. We need time. Life takes time. Have patience with yourself and the process. Have the grace and humility to align with God’s Way. There is always so much more going on behind the scenes than the eye and i can see.

Abundant Divine Wisdom, Grace, Humility and Obedience,                                           Irena As I Am

Spiritual Hoity-Toity

Pride is a very sneaky and clever intruder. It slithers in very covertly. One does not even recognize that one is at its mercy until hopefully just knee deep into it and not in way over their head. This is true in any area of our lives, even in and especially in the spiritual or awareness journey. It is called the “holier than thou” syndrome, or being a spiritual hoity-toity.

I first embarked on the spiritual journey in the late 1990’s (about 20 years ago) primarily out of necessity to “fix” myself, those around me (ha! was i in for a cold shower of awakening – more like a skinny dip in the Arctic Ocean) and my life. It was not based on a conscious choice to become a better huwom/man being. It was out of desperation. I was seeking a panacea tool, a magic wand that would make all the problems and  the problem people go away, while simultaneously materializing the perfect me, others, life, and material items that i deemed necessary for my joy, fulfillment, and ego gratification. Oh my dear word. Just look at that wish list. There was definitely going to be a lot of pruning in my journey, unbeknownst to me. I am grateful though that built into me, was the predisposition to turn toward God and prayer as a coping and healing mechanism, as opposed to say, drugs/alcohol, gambling, food, shopping, entertainment…  . Now, that’s not to say my coping mechanism was “holier than though”, but I think it was probably a more gentler way of coping and healing for me. And that is not to say, that at some level and at some point in time, I did not turn to external distractions or other external self-medicating activities, but the primary and central “go to relief pill” for me was prayer, religion, and eventually spirituality. In hindsight, it was an abundance of grace that turned my focus, attention, and energy in this direction. Also, my upbringing probably contributed much too. There was a heavy imprint in and on me toward prayer and religion.  They were the hub from which all other spokes of my life originated from and had revolved around.

As I began on this path of spirituality and awareness, I noticed that after a certain amount of spiritual “work”, eventually I would be blessed with an “aha” moment. In this aha moment a revelation would flood my being  and my understanding. It would either elate me as it brought me into a new paradigm of understating, or it would require even more work from me as it would ask me to make some drastic changes in my life. My initial response to the Divine request for change was either bartering, whining, and/or  debating with God. “Did You really say that?” or “Do You really want me to do that?” or “God, are You sure that is wise?” I would volley back and forth with God in my Heart and thoughts. The other two responses that God would get from me were either denial that I had heard God right, and lastly, procrastination. But eventually, I obeyed. Either way, it was all grace. I knew that, and I thanked God for it.  And, it took some time for me to recognize it, but another feeling would creep in very subtly: spiritual pride/arrogance, or feeling spiritually superior, or bowing at the spiritual hoity-toity god of awareness. It was the looking down upon others who were walking around in darkness in an area where I had been shown “the light” that spiritual hoity-toityism showed itself.

Now, is there anything more dangerous and arrogant than taking a Gift of Light and using it as a form of judgement against others or elevating oneself. Most certainly Jesus never did this. On the contrary He used His Gift of Light to enlighten, uplift, and liberate those who turned to Him. He was humble and merciful in that He did not hold it over others nor judge them, and He was powerful in that He used it to bring about the Kingdom of Love in these people’s Hearts, minds, relationships, and lives. For the most part, He practiced patience, compassion, and Love.

With each aha I had to remind myself that it did not come from me or was the result of all the work I did,  but rather it was all Grace and it was all a Gift.

Whenever, I forgot this and found myself thinking else wise, soon with time I would be shown just how little I really knew or how much farther I had yet to go. I was in for a humbling lesson. The person whom I would lay judgement upon would say or do something that astounded me in their Divine Wisdom. Or, that person would have another gift or talent that I would, oh my, confession time, envy. But yet again I was comparing myself. In one instance it was how high I stacked up against them, and in the other instance it was how high they stacked up against me. Comparison: same coin, different sides. Comparison is a sure way to a bloated or deflated ego. Neither feeling is Divinely Inspired. We are each on our own journey of Love and evolution. Everyone’s pace is perfect for them.

However, we do not live in a self-absorbed bubble of it’s just me and God in here. We were made for God and for each other. Our stories, used in the right light and way can serve as gifts for change for others. They can be catalysts for conversion. The sharing of our stories is a revelation of how God works with each one of us with the material of our present day life in order bless us with greater Love, should we choose to accept it. Thus one remedy that I have found in being useful in staying humble in whatever journey of ascension we are on is seeing everyone and everything as our teacher and we theirs. God works through everyone and everything. The key is having eyes that see, ears that hear, and an open mind and Heart for receiving the messages, and then the humility and courage in changing.

But blessed are your eyes because they see,                                                          and your ears because they hear.                                                                             (and your will that is humble, reverent, and obedient to God)                                       Matthew 13

Another remedy is sharing our stories of God’s Love. When we share how God has blessed and healed us, we bring hope to others. We bring hope and light into the darkness that may be holding others down, hostage, or frozen in fear. Hope is like a warm light that melts the ice berg of indecision or inaction. Hope is the light that makes the path less dark, or it can completely dispel the dark. Stories of God’s Love are Soul fuel for the journey.

Lastly, just like varying landscapes or shades of a rose, stories also offer us contrast. We see ourselves in others and others can see themselves in us. We are not then isolated in a tunnel experience thinking we are the only ones feeling this way. If we look at it in the right light or frame of mind, we can use the material of the story as inspiration for change, an example to strive forward, a call to help/action, and/or an invitation to pray for others or a cause. Stories show us just how much alike we all are. Stories keep us humble.

One of the Gifts of the Holy Spirit is Right Judgement. With Divine right judgement we can receive a spiritual gift and turn it into a blessing for ourselves and others. Spiritual Soul ahas are like holy bread for the Soul. They give nourishment. They sustain. They are Soul comfort food. They give us hope, faith, and strength for the journey. With Divine right judgement we can use our ahas as yeast to make even more wonderful bread – bread which feeds the Soul’s hunger for Love, Light, Truth, Wisdom, and Beauty. With Divine right judgment we can take an aha and multiply its blessing. Without Divine right judgement, a beautiful aha, if left to the mercy of the ego can turn into spiritual pride, hoarding or not sharing, and thus not feeding others with holy bread. Don’t do this. Share when Divinely inspired to do so. And share generously.

It’s all a Gift and may Divine right judgement direct your actions,                                          Irena As I Am