Subpoena

  • When a Love subpoena comes knocking on your Heart’s door
  • You can be sure that your life is yours no more

 

  • You can try to run and hide behind a rose bush
  • But assuredly Love will see your trembling tush

 

  • You can try and set up a decoy 
  • Hoping that Love will play with this toy

 

  • You can ask others to keep Love at bay
  • Thinking you’ll get a head start on your get-a-way

 

  • You can try to runrunrun as fast as you can
  • All the while relying on the might of a mortal man

 

  • You can pretend that you are someone else 
  • Praying that your lie does not before your eyes melt 

 

  • You can hide out in a friend’s attic 
  • Living constantly as a paranoia fanatic 

 

  • You can make your exit through the door in the back
  • Gleefully, once again slipping through the crack

 

  • You can speak untruthfully and tell a lie
  • Saying that it is not you but another guy

 

  •  You can continue this charade as long as you like
  • For Love’s patience and endurance is a continuous eternal stripe

 

  • But eventually you will tire thee
  • A while flag to Love you will guarantee 

 

  • For Love has a way of wooing even the most staunch denier 
  • Making a fool out of the most clever contriver

 

  • We do have free will this is very well true
  • But ultimately your Soul reminds you of your life’s hue

 

  • Your Soul has the Master’s Plan
  • To which it agreed upon to when time began

 

  • The world needs for you to show up and own your bit
  • Because then and only then will all the pieces of the puzzle fit

 

  • We are all closely inter-connected 
  • By each thought, word and deed the whole Universe is affected

 

  • Answer Love’s subpoena
  • Go Be YOU!
  • It’s a daily practice you accrue 

 

Love & Blessings,                                                                                                          Irena As I Am and Mudryk, We’ve got Love’s number on our favorites speed-dial.          July 19, 2018

 

Walk A Way

  • In my life I have walked quite a way
  • In my life I have learned to quietly, gracefully and peacefully walk away

 

  • There have been times and situations when my Heart was aching 
  • With each passing day into more bits and pieces the Heart was breaking 

 

  • Over and Over and Over I had prayed and attempted unity, healing, and reconciliation 
  • The totality of my dedication brought on even more agitation

 

  • My sense of self-worth had undergone massive deflation 
  • My being-hood no longer had a solid foundation

 

  • What I thought was the righteous life was actually a Divine aberration
  • Upon this realization my choices were continued slavery or emancipation

 

  • Oh! But! But! But! 
  • The fields were at last cleared and tilled, and the granaries full
  • There was milk and honey, silks, linen and fine wool

 

  • To the outside observer everything was perfect as could be
  • But on the inside my Heart was shattered, heavy, and unfree

 

  • Meanwhile, my Heart had tasted love sweeter than the sweetest honey 
  • This truth and feeling became more important than money

 

  • Oh! But! But! But!
  • My mind told me I can’t just leave and fly away like a queen bee
  • And then, it began, over and over The Voice sang Its Heavenly melody 

 

  • “Come follow Me, 
  • Come follow Me
  • Leave all behind and follow Me” *
  • (Arrrgh! The Holy Spirit can be very persistent, insistent, and convincing. And that is good thing! The melody was a continuous loop with no “off” button.)

 

  • Yes, I could have very easily stayed and no one would have ever known 
  • My double life, the inner and outer was mine alone
  • “Come follow Me, 
  • Come follow Me,
  • Leave all behind and follow Me” *

 

  • Oh! But! But! But!
  • What would “they all say”
  • If “they” saw me sailing away 
  • “Come follow Me, 
  • Come follow Me,
  • Leave all behind and follow Me” *

 

  • Truly, deep deep down inside I KNEW the choice was this
  • Stay put and my Heart would ALWAYS to me be amiss

 

  • In the final analysis of my life my Heart and Soul I would have sold 
  • For the price of keeping my flesh out of the cold

 

  • The Voice reminded me, 
  • “a lady does not live on bread alone,**
  • It is upon My Truth and Love that is your life’s solid cornerstone 

 

  • Seek ye first the Kingdom of Heaven**
  • And I will be your constant and faithful intercession

 

  • Take nothing with you for the journey**
  • For you must cleanse yourself of the past’s scurvy

 

  • I AM your Source, your One and Only 
  • I will teach you to trust and rely on Me boldly”

 

  • Yes, I had a choice, this is true, but in essence, NO, not really
  • For Love had presented Their case to me so dearly and completely 

 

  • And thus, walk away, and a long long way, became a way of life
  • Because Love asked me not to cause any strife

 

  • Walked away from everything and everyone I did
  • Because this of me was Love’s bid

 

  • Even though a tempestuous storm was raging on the outside 
  • Deep deep deep down on the inside  Love kept me safe, dry and satisfied 
  • (A most wondrous miracle twas)

 

  • Walked away I did from the only life I knew 
  • In the hopes that Love would give me a “new you”

 

  • I can truly say that Love does know The Way
  • All we need do is practice humility, reverence, and obedience to the Divine Sway

 

  • You WILL be amazed and tickled too
  • At all the wonders that Love can do

 

  • And thus now, whether Love asks me to stay or walk a way
  • I know better than to struggle, it’s much easier doing as the Divine Say

 

Let Love gently, gracefully, graciously, peacefully, and lovingly show you The Way         Irena As I Am and Mudryk, The Love Followers                                                               July 18, 2018

Sources: *Christian Hymn, **Bible

Trust Me

  • When I did not know which way to turn
  • Love said, “Just you wait and go rest in the ship’s stern.

 

  • I AM preparing The Way for you
  • But you must have patience in all that you do.”

 

  • This was the hardest of Love’s wooing 
  • Asking me to just breathe and not always doing

 

  • Furthermore, Love reminded me 
  • And whispered into my Heart Psalm 146, Verse three
  • “Do not put your trust in princes, in human beings, who cannot save.”
  • Yes, that I already discovered, but trusting You I will need to be exceedingly brave

 

  • “Worry not about your life.*”, Love said
  • “I’ve got that all figured out in My Head
  • All you need do is show up and Trust Me
  • And I will gladly provide for thee.”

 

  • My old habit of walking by ego and sight
  • Had led me to much decline and into the deep dark night

 

  • “Why not!?!”, I thought
  • “I’ll give Love a shot.”

 

  • But how could I be sure
  • That I’d be successful as a Love entrepreneur 

 

  • SweetHeart, Darlin’, My beloved and highly favored one,
  • I own the cattle on a thousand hills*
  • All the gold, diamonds, stashed cash are in My Wills

 

  • The lilies of the field* and all the grain
  • Along with the stock markets I alone contain

 

  • Your body and Heart beat are all Mine
  • Nothing goes unnoticed on My Vine

 

  • My Living Word can create or undo
  • Anything can come to pass out of the blue

 

  • Your job is simple, listen and respond to My Voice 
  • And I will give you a life full of rejoice 

 

  • Please please, I ask of thee, be very patient with Me
  • For My timing is based on Wisdom, on Her Decree

 

  • When and if you begin to doubt 
  • Make sure it is to Me to whom you reach out

 

  • I will give you Abundant Grace 
  • My Love for you will show in your shining face

 

  • Go now SweetHeart and live your life trustfully and joyfully
  • For I AM with you unto eternity, loyally and playfully 

 

Worship the Living God with reverence, humility, and obedience,                                  Irena As I Am and Mudryk, Walking the Live Line of Faith                                                July 17, 2018

*Source: Bible 

Love Me Not, or…Maybe Do

  • Love me not, for your sweetness is more than I can bear
  • Love me not, for your sweetness may send me into despair 

 

  • Love me not, for then I will crave your tender caress
  • Love me not, for then I may become once again a mess

 

  • Love me not, for then I will yearn for you night and day
  • Love me not, for then I may lose my way and go astray 

 

  • Love me not, for with you I might become obsessed
  • Love me not, for then that may cause me great unrest

 

  • Love me not, for being with you I may need to change
  • Love me not, for then from my self I may become estranged 

 

  • Love me not, for that may lead to emotional intimacy, 
  • i into you and you into me, see
  • Love me not, for I do not know if I can handle all that intensity 

 

  • Love me not, for then there may be a Cosmic dare
  • Love me not, for then with you my life and Heart I may need to share

 

  • Love me not, for then my joy may be expanded beyond measure
  • Love me not, for I do not know if my Heart has room for this treasure 

 

  • Love me not, for my Spirit can not be contained 
  • Love me not, for my Spirit must have liberty’s free reign 

 

  • Love me not, for it has taken me a long long time to heal
  • Love me not, for I can not put myself again through that ordeal

 

  • Love me not, for love has cost me a fortune
  • Love me not, for I have reached the point of exhaustion 

 

  • Whoa!
  • Whoa!!
  • Whoa!!!
  • SweetHeart, Darlin’, My beloved and highly favored one,
  • Let’s flip on the Light switch and turn toward the Son
  • Let us remember all the good that Love has done

 

  • Let us remember that in your total vulnerability 
  • Love gave you the keys to life and liberty

 

  • Let us remember that in your sweet and tender moments 
  • Love blessed you with healing, joy, laughter, forgiveness, wholeness and condolence 

 

  • Let us remember that in your Heart to Heart conversations 
  • Love enabled you to undergo many positive transformations 

 

  • Let us remember that in your Soul to Soul exchanges 
  • Love boosted you to higher and higher elevations 

 

  • Let us remember that in your loss and confusion
  • Love planted in you a new vision

 

  • Let us remember that in your weakness and meekness
  • Love empowered you with exorbitant strength and Divine uniqueness 

 

  • Let us remember that when you thought were done and dead
  • Love bolstered you and you forged ahead

 

  • Let us remember that when you thought you were orphaned and all alone
  • Love built for you a beautiful place to call home 

 

  • Let us remember that in this great pause
  • Love showed you your Soul’s cause 

 

  • SweetHeart, Love has been abundantly good to you
  • Share this Good News in all that you do

 

  • You know now as you move forward 
  • Love is with you and on every corner 

 

  • Always and in all ways turn to Love
  • And your path will be lighted from above

 

Abide in Love with the Living God,                                                                                Irena As I Am and Mudryk, Writers, Rhymers, But Not (yet?) Rappers                             July 16, 2018

My Dream Boat

Once upon a time… when everything was in shambles and I had no clue as to what to do next, God sent me “clues, hints, winks, and synchronicities” on my journey. At that time one of my majors in the University of Life was detaching and disengaging from being a “people pleaser”, not succumbing to the “need to please”, having the strength to say “No” and stick to it, and having the courage to do something that I knew would upset many people, many many many people. I had on my shoulders the weight of letting everyone down if I were to proceed down a certain path. Oh my Holy Word! What a time of great testing that was. 

Anthony de Mello’s book “Walking on Water” was my lifeline and saving grace. In one section he spoke about us being addicted to the praise of others and it being the equivalent of a cocaine addiction (I think that is the drug he referred to). It is fed to us at a very early age and our psyche and sense of self-worth is deeply conditioned to it. It is the carrot and stick schtick of praise, disapproval, “the disapproving eye”, and/or the lavishing or withholding of love. Once we taste it, once we are conditioned to it, we crave it and we’ll do anything to keep getting it – love and adoration –  at any cost to our deep inner sense. Before we even know what is going on, we are hooked subconsciously and unaware.

 Rather than going within or to God for approval we look for the validation from others which is a very dangerous and precarious position to put ourselves in. We become slaves and at the mercy of another and another’s fickle and unConditional love, rather than God’s total acceptance of us and  our own acceptance of us. At that time, I was, or rather, God was weaning me from this self-destructive and self-demeaning “drug”.

I had a major decision to make – I could either stay put or have “everyone/they” be upset with me and disappointed in me for taking a different path. I wouldn’t be just “rocking the boat”, I’d be turning it upside down, axing it to pieces, and then burning it. 

  • What to do?
  • What to do?
  • Oh Dear God! What do I do?

In the midst of this conundrum, one night I had a dream. In the dream the message was “if you want to walk on water you have to get out of the boat”. It was a strong and deep dream, and upon waking, my whole Being was imbued with its message. I knew the direction that the dream was prophesying for me. I just did not know if I had the strength to see it through. 

That day I happened to be flying out of town. While I was standing in the TSA security line, my gaze was directed toward the mesh end-pocket of a duffel bag that a gentleman in front of me had over his shoulder. To my astonishment and bewilderment the cover had a picture of a boat in the water and the title read, “If You Want to Walk on Water You’ve Got to Get Out of the Boat”. I was in total AWE & WONDER. Was this for real? What are the odds! I couldn’t believe it and yet I did. I also couldn’t refrain from not saying anything. I told the gentleman with the book about my dream, and after a brief but intense Soul bearing conversation he offered the book to me, just like that. By the Grace of God, I was humble enough to say “Yes” and accept such a thoughtful and generous gift from a stranger.

I not only read the book, I devoured it. Every word spoke to me, nourished me, taught me, opened my mind, and encouraged me. I KNEW in the core of my being God was speaking to me through this book. I KNEW that God was building me up on the inside with His Living Word and Truth to go down the path of resistance. I KNEW I would be disappointing “them and they”, but I also KNEW I would make God really really proud of me for finally listening to God and being obedient. 

In hindsight, this stranger might have very well been an angel, for they do come in all types of earthly guises. Sometimes you just get this feeling … Sometimes you just know when the Divine has set you up for success in Their Vision of your best life.

Yes. After much discernment, trepidation, angst, and a whole lotta prayer, by the Grace of God, I did get out of the boat, and, I lived to tell about it, despite all the resistance I received for doing so. Yes. The process had been melodramatic because no one was listening to me, which made me even more angry, and I felt it was the only way I could get my point across. No one was hurt physically, but emotionally Hearts and relationships were torn to bits and pieces. 

In this “getting out of the boat and walking on water” journey of faith, as long as I had my eyes and i focused on Jesus, I was doing just fine, no mater what was going on around me. As soon as I took my Heart’s gaze off of Him and focused onto the circumstances, “the facts” and the repercussions, my Spirit began to sink into and become overwhelmed by despair. By the Grace of God, as soon as I realized I was sinking, I  reached for Him and He always brought me up to the surface again. He is like that. He is always on call and always responds. It’s just that sometimes His Way and His response may be very different from what we expected. Be humble and open enough so that you can see and accept His help and love, always. 

Recently, at the library bookstore, I happened upon the book, again. Hmmm… It reminded me again just how much we are all Divinely loved, supported, valued, encouraged, empowered, guided, and blessed on this earthen sojourn.

He loves you more than you know. He wants a life of joy, peace, love, health, safety, wisdom, grace, and prosperity for you. Ask. Ask. Ask. Then DO as He says. God does need your cooperation. Amen

Side Note:    Anthony de Mello’s suggestion, which I think is wise, for raising strong and God-dependent children is to support them, AND also ask them how they feel about their accomplishments/projects (art, science, sport…)/progress. This helps to build them from the inside out rather than from the outside in.

Worship the Living God (Hebrews 9) and not dead idols,                                                   Irena As I Am and Mudryk, Divine Seaworthy Sailors                                                                 July 12, 2018

Outside my Window

  • Outside my window the birds chirp away
  • They sing of their joy for the coming day

 

  • They flutter around from branch to branch
  • And sometimes they even have a little romance 

 

  • The tree welcomes them gladly with wide open arms
  • Their lovely way is quite a charm

 

  • The sun warms their little feathered bodies 
  • Giving them strength and making their life jolly

 

  • The earth meets their every need 
  • By giving them in abundance berries and seeds

 

  • They build their nests so high and secure
  • The safety of their young they ensure

 

  • They raise their families with such tender care
  • Watching them has become a form of prayer

 

  • Their presence is a Gift of Grace
  • It reminds me to slow down from the hurried pace

 

  • Their song greets me every single morning 
  • They faithfully show me life is a calling

 

  • If I ever feel on this path feel alone
  • All I need do is look out my window and in my Heart love is known

 

  • Friends come in a variety of shapes and sizes
  • All we need do is have a Heart that realizes

 

  • Living with Joy is really quite simple
  • Just breathe deeply and with nature let your Spirit co-mingle

 

  • Living with Love is really quite possible 
  • Just let your entire self to God become wholly bondable 

 

  • Living with Peace is really quite true 
  • Just make it a priority in all that you do

 

  • Outside my window the birds and the tree have tenderly taught me
  • That each day is a jubilee and all I need do is just be

 

With Love,                                                                                                                     Irena As I Am and Mudryk the Muse                                                                               July 9, 2018

Step by Step

  • Step by Step, You have shown me The Way
  •    Step by Step, You have eased my dismay

 

  • Step by Step, You have kept me upright 
  •    Step by Step, You saved my life from fright

 

  • Step by Step, You have healed my Heart 
  •    Step by Step, You gave me another start

 

  • Step by Step, You led me to the heavenly crown jewels
  •    Step by Step, You gave me a life without rules 

 

  • Step by Step, You have your seeds in my Heart sown
  •    Step by Step, You have seen my faith grown 

 

  • Step by Step, with You I am no longer a cripple
  •    Step by Step, with You I have become your ardent pupil 

 

  • Step by Step, You have shown me the Light at the end of the tunnel
  •    Step by Step, You have me living in a Love funnel

 

  • Step by Step, You have helped me climb the mountain
  •    Step by Step, You have led me to the eternal fountain 

 

  • Step by Step, You have helped me become stronger and bolder
  •    Step by Step, You have lifted enormous weight off of my shoulder 

 

  • Step by Step, You have shown me my worthy 
  •    Step by Step, You have always been on my journey 

 

  • Step by Step, my fears you have subdued 
  •    Step by Step, with You my being is imbued 

 

  • Step by Step, by the Grace of God I shall continue 
  •   Step by Step, I love that my being is in You

 

  • I thought that my journey of trust would be one big leap of faith
  • And then I could just sit back and wait
  • LOL! 
  • But, oh my! Was I mistaken,
  • It is a day by day and moment by moment journey of the maiden

Irena As I Am & Mudryk                                                                                      06.21.2018

Post Mortem

  • I didn’t know if I was going to live or die
  • But if I had my preference, I would rather eternally lie

 

  • Those who were dearly departed, I envied
  • I may have been above ground, yet it felt like I was deeply buried

 

  • Life had sucked the blood out of me
  • All that remained was a hollow shell of a once thriving tree

 

  • I put all my affairs in perfect order
  • And then I waited for the executioner’s tightening quarter

 

  • I lived holding my breath
  • I went from day to day hoping for death

 

  • Some are afraid to die
  • But for me, life I could not ratify

 

  • Some pray for the dead,
  • But for me, living was the larger dread

 

  • To my surprise and disappointment too
  • Death did not come knocking on my door so soon

 

  • Since I did not make death’s short list
  • I guess life is still in my midst

 

  • But in looking up from my open grave
  • How do I live this life outside the cave

 

  • What is there for me to do and to be
  • Once one rises from a death on a tree

 

  • Love whispered softly into my Heart and Soul, 
  • “This SweetHeart you will discover as you Flow

 

  • Beautiful it will be
  • As long as you stay oh so close to Me

 

  • Whether you realize it or not, My Darling
  • The past eleven years you have been heeding My Voice like a starling”  IC•XC

Irena As I Am                                                                                                      06/11/2018

Beautiful Eyes

  • You touched my arm and said, “You have beautiful eyes.”
  • And from that moment on, at the sight of you, my Heart is energized

 

  • The boldness of your comment took me completely by surprise
  • Towards others you have left me immunized 

 

  • I now see you from time to time 
  • And in those briefest of moments, I feel you are all mine

 

  • I do listen intently to what you have to say
  • Because your words help me find my way

 

  • On the Spirit’s promptings, I share with you my sorrows, victories, and the shadow side of me
  • Your generous Heart and patient ear have been significant to my liberty 

 

  • But alas, into your little box, I can never fit
  • For it is the Flow of my Spirit that I must permit 

 

  • Likewise, you yourself have very definite plans 
  • And to these you have dedicated your hands 

 

  • We journey on parallel tracks 
  • Never destined to interact 

 

  • This is best i truly know 
  • For love comes wrapped in a variety of bows 

 

  • Love brings lovers in many shapes and forms 
  • It is not for us to question, but only to conform 

 

  • The feeling of love is a rich inner treasure
  • It truly is a Divine gesture

 

  • All you need do is close your eyes, open your Heart
  • There i will be, along side you, never apart

irena as i am                                                                                                       06/09/2018

An Ode to My Beloved

  • You came into my life when I was lost and confused,
  • Everything in my mind I knew be true my Soul spoke up and refused.

 

  • All my relationships and associations had been defused,
  • And the future of my existence rested on my self-imposed solitude.

 

  • Your Spirit I heard from afar call out to my Heart,
  • And it was only a matter of time before you and I became one part.

 

  • You whispered your name into my Soul, 
  • And your presence helped me become whole.

 

  • Your sweet and innocent disposition were a balm to my oozing wounds,
  • Your soft touch and tender way kept me from being doomed.

 

  • You became my closest, nearest, and dearest companion,
  • You took the care of my Heart and Soul into your battalion.

 

  • You brought me unexpected gifts and joy beyond imagine,
  • Your presence ended my starved Heart’s famine.

 

  • Your well being is of the utmost importance to me,
  • With you at my side i now know what is we.

 

  • You are playful and at times sneaky too,
  • As we go on adventures learning to live anew.

 

  • You have saved me from becoming completely narcissistic,
  • As I cater to your whims and shower you with delicious kisses.

 

  • For you i am eternally grateful,
  • For i now know what it is being faithful.

 

  • Thank you Thank you Thank you with all of my Heart,
  • You have been one of my greatest blessings in my life’s arc.

irena as i am and Mudryk The Great                                                                      05/30/2018