No TV for Me

I am humbly proud to say that I have bee tv free for four years now.

It happened around the same time that I was doing my best to distance myself from white four, sugar, processed food, and all other non-integrity nourishment, on all levels and areas. I now call it “The GREAT SPRING CLEANING of 2014 “. That was when I had dubbed myself the Queen of Clean.

The TV had been energetically dirty, contaminated, unclean. Thus, I donated it after purifying it with sage, incense and Holy Water.

Now, this space and my home represent  peace, silence, perspective, tranquility, and time to really reflect, heal, process, and move forward. Most importantly however, this is a space and place where I am able to better hear the gentle whisperings of the Divine World. My home is my sanctuary and my sacred space for wholeness and holiness.

Initially however I did not feel that way. Initially, 

  • I was in shock as I went into noise pollution withdrawal.
  • I was uncomfortable and uneasy as my mind numbing agent and Spirit Suppressing noise box was gone.
  • I didn’t know what to do with myself when I wanted to decompress, tune out, or have my mind go into a vegetative state.
  • I felt awkward and weird and out of sorts with the rest of society.
  • When I woke late at night I was forced to  face/hear why I was awoken by the Divine Realm and what they were trying to tell me. Whereas in the past, I would tune them out, and drown them out by tuning into the tv hole.
  • I fidgeted, felt deprived, and almost had the shakes.

I had no where to run and hide from me and the emotions and issues that were welling up from the inside of me. But then I stuck with it, I persevered and I did not allow those discomfort feelings to sway me, control me, have power over me nor change my course.

I also noticed something very interesting over the course of the next year. I observed myself in situations when I was in the presence of a tv and pleasing shifts happened.

  1. While traveling and in a hotel room, I did not feel the need to turn on the tv, nor did I tv binge. Instead, I took the time to FEEL the energy of the trip and all the sights, sounds, conversations, experiences, messages and lessons. I soaked it all up –  every drop of life into my bones.  I had the time and space to process life, and rest too.
  2. While staying in someone’s home, again, I did not feel the need to watch tv. I do remember TRYING to watch tv, but it felt like a chore and a waste of time. If my hosts were watching tv, I could only tolerate it for so long (15 to 30 minutes) before I had to leave the room. There was so much noise and created drama that I went into sensory overload.
  3. My Greek Orthodox neighbors were going to Holy Friday Services and asked me if I would sit with their canine companion whom I will call Ms. Tabitha. I did. My mind was not in a place where I could read and focus, thus, I turned on the tv to one of my favorite channels in my life before tv: HGTV. I used to get a kick out of watching  couple dynamics while choosing a home OR watching the wonderful renovation transformations. Hmmmm… maybe because at that time my life was also undergoing major renovations/transformations; thus these shows appealed to me. Then something interesting happened. After about 35/40 minutes, I felt “blah”. I felt brain fog. I felt mesmerized, entranced and hypnotized. Thus, instead I looked at Ms. Tabitha and asked her if she wanted to go for a walk. Does one need to ask a dog twice if they want to go for a walk? On the walk, we met up with another neighbor walking their dog and we had a really good conversation: two people connected and so did the two dogs. Upon our return, I returned again to HGTV: round two.This time the above symptoms got worse and the shows really did not hold my interest. I guess I am cured of HGTV! When I got home, I felt so good being in my tranquil quiet space, my peaceful home sanctuary. Thank You my good neighbors and Ms.Tabitha for this invaluable experience. I now have tv closure as there were still small wonderings of whether I “should” have a tv. After all, doesn’t everyone. Now I am grateful that I am not “normal” when it comes to tv ownership. Hmmm…. perhaps this was one of His Gifts on Orthodox Holy Friday. Through the Holy Spirit, They let me know and confirmed Their view/will of Their best version of my life.

And one more tv story: While at a friends home and because of college associations they really wanted to watch the basketball finals. The tv was on for only about an hour. But afterwards I felt  over-stimulated, over-exposed exposed, over sensitized  and somewhat drained. So so so so much information is crammed into such a little fraction of time.

During the one hour tv experience I also felt  energetically “violated” by all the negative commercials, especially the pharmaceutical ones. I feel that the pharmaceutical commercials/messages plant self-fulfilling prophecies or “symptom seeds” in the psyches of people to have the “experience” for which they happen to have the “cure”.

I do my best to expose my self to only clean clean clean thoughts, conversations, images, books, websites, articles and advertising. But while watching tv I had been “force fed” info, images, thoughts, and messages. Truthfully, I allowed it because I could have very easily left the room. I was not a victim. I was an active participant in my demise. In writing this, I am also now realizing how I had compromised my values in “sitting there” and not removing myself from an unhealthy situation.

“But, where sin (missing the mark/target) abounded, grace did much more abound” Romans 5:20

“And, we know that all things work together for good to them that love God” Romans 8:28

When I am at peace and well, I radiate wellness to all and in the space that I occupy on this Planet Earth. It is my way of contributing to Peace. Now, peace and silence reign. I do from time to time get DVDs from the library. But even that is rare.

Success Formula:

  • 1/3 Holy Spirit Promptings/Nudges
  • 1/3 GRACE
  • 1/3 Personal Will, Wise Choices and commitment.

I pray that whatever changes you are contemplating – being nudged toward – that Grace strengthens you and that you commit to a life of greater well being, peace, integrity, love and joy. So heal and help you God.

Abundant Grace to All,                                                                                                  Irena As I Am                                                                                                      05/14/2018


Spring Cleaning

Once upon a time, a very long time ago, I was so disgusted with myself, my life, and where I had found myself in life, that I did something very rational:


If I could have, I would have thrown me out to, but then my Soul would have been fleshless. And thus, that was not an option.

It may seemed like I had a choice, but not really. The message I had been getting for over a year was consistent and persistent:

“He told them: “Take nothing for the journey— no staff, no bag, no bread, no money, no extra shirt.”  Luke 9:3

“But! But! But!”, I protested throughout the year.                                                              “You can’t ask that of me. That’s not practical.”, I rebutted snuggly.                                   “You don’t really mean that literally. Do you?”, I appealed rationally.                                “Would you really ask such a thing of me?”, I challenged with a sprinkling of guilt.

But alas, the more that I opposed, the louder and stronger and more frequent the message flooded me from every which direction. The Luke passage kept hounding me, following me, popping up in all sorts of unusual places. I had no peace. The more that I demurred, the more They asked me to TRUST. It was a Holy blitzkrieg. I had no place to hide. They said that my eyes can only see this moment, whereas Their Eyes can see today, tomorrow, 10,000 tomorrows, and most importantly, into eternity. They said it would be good for my Soul. And so I acquiesced. I obeyed.

In hindsight, I now see that They had been preparing me and training me for a number of years for this epic Olympic event which I came to call Spring Cleaning. One of my first crown jewels They had asked me to give away was an old old hard copy of Leo Tolstoy’s “Anna Karenina” that I had come across in a used book store. The book had been with me for over twenty years and followed me in each of my moves. I still remember the moment my eyes made contact with “Anna Karenina” and our lives meshed. Just looking at the book on my bookshelf game me immense joy and satisfaction. Some time later, the next item that needed letting go of was a $500 CDN burgundy fitted leather jacket gift which was  purchased at Danier. The leather was soft and supple. The cut was snug and smart and sexy. I felt and looked great in it. Then there was the purse: the $300 and some USD Dooney & Burke purse. I always made sure to carry it with the logo facing the world, making sure the world saw my value. Combine the purse and the jacket with my jewelry, shoes, and clothing, I was easily $2,000+ walking. I was worthy of love and respect. My material possessions proved it so. Or so I thought.

**BIG Side Note Here**                                                                                                           I am not condemning beautiful and finely tailored clothing and accessories.It was my attachment to them and how they made me feel on the outside-in, rather than from the inside-out. It was my relationship to them and with them that was unhealthy. These exterior items were part of the external montage of items that I had anchored my worth into, rather than developing my interior self-acceptance and self-value with and through God.  Beautifully designed, responsibly sourced, masterfully crafted, respectfully  manufactured, lovingly packaged, smartly labeled, efficiently distributed, accurately branded, cleverly marketed, and lovingly merchandised items are part of the cycle of life, people’s creativity, reflection of the period of time we are in, and a wonderful way of making a living. It’s just that for me, at that time in my life, they were my self-worth crutches upon which I leaned on heavily.

These external symbols did not give me deep inner peace and joy. Thus, I obeyed the request by The Holy Ones because up to that point in life I had obeyed the set-in-stone yet unwritten laws and glances and expectations of the tribe, the culture, the traditions and the religion. I had excelled in my earthly obeying. I was highly praised for my earthy obeying. On the outside, everything looked sugar plum perfect. Yet on the inside, I was drowning in misery and self-doubt. In this place of total confusion, I was open and willing to trying life differently. I was open to looking within for direction, guidance, and validation, rather than to external sources and voices.

In addition, They presented Luke 9:3 with such conviction, that I just KNEW deep within my being that They were right: no matter how illogical, impractical, or foolish a course of action it may have seemed to the common person.

They said,                                                                                                                             “Be grateful that We are giving you the choice to let go on your own.                          Some do not get this choice.                                                                                            Be grateful that you are parting with these things from your own free will and in a gentle manner.                                                                                                                       Some do not have it this way.                                                                                           Be grateful that is not a fire, flood, theft, storm, or an act of war that is removing these items from you.                                                                                                                Be grateful, for we can not put new wine into an old wineskin.                                         Be grateful because We are preparing you for new wine, a new life.”                              And the crown jewel of Their conviction was,

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal.” Matthew 6:19

They spoke. I listened and obeyed. I set out on my “As I Am” voyage with Their Word as my rudder and the wind to my sails. In about a month’s time, I did let go of everything, down to the q-tips and even my favorite pen. The only things remaining were a banked stash of cash, my transportation, glasses, a dental appliance, pictures, and documents. It was one of the scariest things I have done in my life. It was one of the most liberating things I have done in my life. They proved Themselves and Their Word as trustworthy to me. Their wisdom surpasses all understanding.

Trust the Flow of Life,                                                                                                    Irena As I Am